Tuesday, January 31, 2012
For those of us who are blessed to be parents, we understand that parenting comes with some tremendous perks, which are accompanied by some tremendous inconveniences. Your whole entire schedule changes, and for some parents, it can be really difficult trying to find a balance between finding moments of intimacy with one another, or spending time doing things you enjoy doing: especially in the early years.
Well, my husband and I were really trying to adjust to finding times of intimate moments after we had our first baby. I was breastfeeding for the first time, and to be quite honest, you don’t even think about being intimate – it’s the furthest from your mind! You’re tired, sleepy, hungry, irritable, and you don’t feel pretty by any stretch of the term, and here comes your beloved husband, wanting to spend intimate time with you.
Well, I don’t know about you, but it took my husband and I quite some time to get back into a rhythm of intimacy. For months we would tip-toe around, waiting for my daughter to go to sleep. It became a “game” of sorts in our house, that the moment she would go down for a nap, my husband and I would scramble up, each get in separate showers, and ready ourselves for one another. It was quite the event.
Well, this particular time, my husband didn’t quite feel like waiting for our daughter, now 11 months, to go to sleep. “She’s a baby. She’s only a year old. She has no idea what’s going on”, he said so assuredly. “Let’s just put her in her playpen at the end of our bed, and put some toys in there, and she will be fine. She will have no idea what’s going on.” “Okay,” I say hesitantly.
So, here we go! We attempt to seize the moment. We put her in her playpen, with toys everywhere. She’s sitting playing so nicely, and I feel less hesitant, and more confident that we can truly enjoy one another. We begin our intimate adventure, when all of a sudden, I scream: “Ahhhh!!!” My husband jumps up and screams back at me: “What? What is it?” I point to my daughter who has moved from playing with her toys, to standing straight up watching us.
Word to the wise: Never, ever, ever, ever, ever (get my drift?) seize an intimate moment, while your children are awake; no matter how “distracted” you think they are. You will always get caught between the sheets! But nevertheless, you will naturally get a great laugh!
P.S. Get your Motherhood the Musical tickets today by visiting www.merrimackhall.com or calling (256) 534-6455 and tell them Kristen sent you from the Merrimack Mommy Chronicles.
Posted by Kristen Wilson at 1:24 PM
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Monday, January 23, 2012
Remember the show "Kids Say the Darndest Things?" Bill Cosby hosted the second version of the show which portrayed all of the funny and sometimes embarrassing moments where kids say what their little imaginations perceive. It was absolutely hilarious!
As a kid, I remember me and my grandmother watching it together. She would just laugh and laugh as she remembered when I was younger and all of the funny things I would say. She said one time my dad was putting one of our toys together that we got as a Christmas gift. My grandmother, laughing as she remembered the story, said that my mom would kindly go over to my dad and encourage him to read the directions. And he, of course never picked them up.
After a few times of mom doing this, my grandmother said I picked up the directions, walked over to my dad confidently and yelled, "Daddy, read the constructions paper!" Everyone exploded into laughter! She said I couldn't have been more than three.
Well our daughter has had her share of funny moments, and in following in Mommy's footsteps, here's one of many. My husband and I were thrilled to enroll her in a Christian pre-K program where she would learn her shapes, numbers and letters, but also Bible verses and Books from the Bible. Every day when we picked her up from school, we would ask her what she learned that day. This particular day we asked her what she learned.
She replied very assured of herself: "We learned about a mommy who pushed her baby down the river." My husband and I looked at each other very confused, and I said, "No, really what did youn learn at school today?" She said again, more deliberate, wondering why she was repeating herself: "We learned about a mommy who pushed her baby down the river!" "Ok, ok. Well, what was the baby's name?"
My daughter says: "Baby Roses". My husband asking chuckling, "Do you mean Baby Moses?" My daughter said, "Yeah that's him!" We all laughed all the way home about the baby named Roses who got pushed down the river by his mommy!Kids definitely still say the darndest things!
And you can share your funny mommy story by emailing firstname.lastname@example.org.
P.S. Get your Motherhood the Musical tickets today by visiting www.merrimackhall.com or calling (256) 534-6455 and tell them Kristen sent you from the Merrimack Mommy Chronicles!
Posted by Kristen Wilson at 11:11 PM
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Each year, as we begin booking for our next season, we ask our patrons to tell us what matters most to them. What was your favorite Merrimack Hall show? How about your least favorite? What would you like to see in next year's season?
Go here to participate in the survey: http://svy.mk/merrimackhall
We'll select one winner from all survey participants, who will win a 2012-13 Patron-level membership and $50 gift certificate!
Help us make 2012-13 our FIFTH and BEST season so far!
Posted by Ashley Dinges at 4:56 PM
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
So, if I were to poll 100 mothers, I’m almost certain that 90 of them would have a classic “poop” (excuse my forward use of the word) story for at least one if not all of their children. I mean, who knew that “poop” would become such a normal part of our daily rituals as a beloved mother? What used to make us gag now has established normalcy in our lives.
Let me give you an example. Before I had kids, if I were to spill the slightest thing on my shirt, I would soak it in water for 24 hours, have it dry cleaned and pressed so that it could look “like new” again. After I had kids, if I get the slightest thing on my shirt (i.e. food, spit up, and yes, even poop), I put some Shout on it and throw it in the washer with all of the rest of the clothes, cloaking the stains as “marks of mommyhood”. Because who really has time to soak one single shirt for 24 hours until the stain is perfectly lifted? Exactly my point. Now, that we are all on the same page, here’s one of my dreaded poop escapades.
One morning, I woke up, as usual to the sounds of my daughter pleasantly playing by herself through the baby monitor. She was no more than 12 or 13 months old and she was singing away and laughing all by herself. As this is one of every mommy’s greatest things to hear (their children being self-entertained), I smiled to myself, and then thought how nice it was going to be to take a shower by myself without having to have baby songs playing in the bathroom to entertain her. So, I take a long, deliberate shower, thankful for a moment to myself and to get refreshed. I rush out of the shower, throw some clothes on, chuckling to myself as I still hear my wonderful child playing, cooing, singing, and laughing on the baby monitor. I’m preparing myself to go in and play with her, excited about our day together.
I open my door to our bedroom, and start walking down the hallway, when I get my first whiff of “poop”. I think to myself how strong it smells for me to be so far away from the door, but keep walking. The smell of “poop” is getting greater and greater, the closer I approach the door, and I’m contemplating what she ate last night that would make her “poop” smell that strong. I then place my hand gently on the door to her room, hesitating as I turn the knob to open the door. As I open the door, to my surprise, my happy daughter has taken off her diaper and spread “poop” everywhere!
Everywhere is not an exaggeration. She spread it on the crib, which formally was white and was now brown and white speckled. She spread it on the walls, which previously white were now brown. She spread it on her legs, her arms, her face, and yes even her mouth. She threw the poop across the room, even, adorning her pretend playmates and stuffed animals. Yes, the whole entire room was “pooped”. So now, what once gagged me is indeed gagging me again. I reluctantly and with only two fingers, pull her out of her crib, toss her in the tub, dousing her with water and soap – more water, then more soap, and repeating this process again and again, trying to figure out how this happened? I went to her room, cleaning again wondering how this happened and most importantly how this happened without my husband being home.
I finally got everything cleaned up, I’m frustrated, I’ve taken my third shower of the day, trying to rid myself of the stench of “poop” everywhere when I get a call from my husband. “Hey sweetness (he affectionately calls me), what are you doing?” I respond even toned, yet very sarcastic, “I’m potty-training our daughter, what do you think I’m doing?” He responds, “Potty training? Don’t you think that’s a bit early?” I reply, calmly yelling, “I just cleaned up poop everywhere! It was in her mouth…in her mouth! On me! It was on her crib! It was on me! You just don’t understand!” He replies, “Oh (long pause)…Glad I wasn’t there, I probably would have thrown up everywhere!” We both laugh hysterically. Could you imagine this story if it was daddy cleaning up poop and not mommy? You do the math.
Happy “poop” trails!
P.S. Don't forget to reserve your tickets to Motherhood the Musical to hear more mommy tales! Visit http://www.merrimackhall.com/motherhood.html for more info.
Posted by Kristen Wilson at 4:29 PM
Greetings, Merrimack Hall patrons!
In honor of our upcoming month-long run of the smash-hit Motherhood the Musical (from the producers of the legendary Menopause the Musical), we're launching a new blog series every Tuesday called "The Merrimack Mommy Chronicles."
You'll hear from the mothers on our staff. They'll tell you their favorite, most embarassing, hilarious and frustrating stories about motherhood.
Love what you read? Share your stories with us too! E-mail email@example.com to share your favorite photos and memories.
And don't forget to reserve your tickets to Motherhood the Musical at www.merrimackhall.com. The show is perfect for mothers of all ages - pregnant moms, new moms, grandmothers. Don't forget to bring your husbands too!
Posted by Ashley Dinges at 4:10 PM